Imagine resolving conflict without defensiveness, blame, or raised voices. That’s the power of Nonviolent communication (NVC). A method that transforms the way we connect, even in tough conversations.
Why nonviolent communication (NVC) matters
- It encourages mutual understanding
- It Reduces tension and conflict
- It strengthens emotional connection with others
NVC isn’t just about what you say; it’s about how you say it, and the intention behind your words.
What is NVC?
Nonviolent communication (NVC) is a method that helps you express your feelings and needs honestly, without judging, blaming, or criticizing others. The goal is to keep the understanding and connection while avoiding unnecessary conflict or defensiveness.
The 4 steps of NVC
- Observation
Start by describing the situation in facts, without judgment.
Example: “I see that your report isn’t finished yet.”
- Feelings
Share how this makes you feel.
Example: “This makes me I feel frustrated.”
- Needs
Connect your feeling to a deeper need.
Example: “Because I need more clarity about our deadlines.”
- Request
Make a specific, respectful request.
Example: “Would you be willing to send me an update by 3 PM?”
4 extra tips for practicing NVC
- Use “I”
Take ownership of your emotions. Say “I feel…” rather than “You make me feel…”
- Be clear and direct
Being assertive supports nonviolent communication. If you’re interested in improving your assertive skills, check out my blog about assertiveness.
- Stick with the facts
Avoid interpreting or judging others. State what you observe.
- Stay open to dialogue
Even while expressing your needs, remain open to hearing others. If you’re interested in improving your listening skills, check out my blog about active listening.
Want to know more?
I have also summarized this tool in a handy PDF in which you can easily read all the steps. Leave your email below to receive this directly in your inbox!
In the coming months I will also talk about two other communication techniques, active listening and assertiveness. Keep an eye on the blog page!
