Assertiveness isn’t about placing yourself above the other. It’s about being clear, confident, and respectful communication.
When we communicate assertively, we express our needs and opinions honestly while still respecting other. This is key to building strong relationships, in both personal and professional settings.
Why assertiveness matters
- It builds self-confidence
- It leads to mutual respect and better understanding
- It prevents burnout and overcommitment
Assertive people are more likely to set boundaries, be heard, and maintain balance in their lives.
What is being assertive?
Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs in a way that is honest, direct, and respectful. It’s the middle ground between being passive and being aggressive.
The 5 steps of being assertive
- Be clear and direct
Communicate your needs or opinions without confusion or hesitation.
- Use “I”
Own your experience. Say “I feel…” instead of “You make me feel…”
- Stay calm
Use a calm tone and steady body language, especially in conflict.
- Keep a good body posture
Stand tall, maintain eye contact, and keep an open posture.
- Use active listening
Assertiveness is not one-sided. Respect others’ views while asserting your own. If you’re intersted in improving your listening skills, check out my blog about active listening.
5 things to avoid when trying to be assertive
- Being passive
Letting others dominate can lead to resentment and misunderstanding.
- Being aggressive
Yelling, blaming, or dominating the conversation damages relationships.
- Over-explaining
You don’t have to justify every opinion or decision.
- Hiding away
Avoiding eye contact or closing off your body sends mixed signals.
- Apologizing excessively
Only say sorry when it’s truly needed. You don’t need to apologize for having a opinion.
Want to know more?
I have also summarized this tool in a handy PDF in which you can easily read all the steps. Leave your email below to receive this directly in your inbox!
In the coming months I will also talk about two other communication techniques, active listening and nonviolent communication. Keep an eye on the blog page!
